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Regular Features
THE
PARENT COACH
Dr.
Steven Richfield provides articles on many different aspects of raising a child
with ADHD.
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THE ADVOCATE
Each
month we our advocate will be answering questions from our visitors about yours
and your children's rights in the educational system.
PARENTS
TALK
A mother is trying to help her teenage son learn anger management.
MOTIVATION
TIPS
Five great ideas for motivation, including The Shoe Race, Trading Places
and more.
ORGANIZATION
TIPS
Organize your child at home, and maybe find some tips that will help you
as well.
ADHD
IN THE NEWS
Headlines about ADHD, Learning Disability and Mental Disorders
Study on ADD and TV
The recent study published on watching television between the ages of one and
three and the possible link to ADD/ADHD did not take many considerations into
account. The author of the study even admits that he cannot conclude that
television watching and ADD/ADHD are linked.
Read the
Article
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A reader wrote in requesting information on Adult ADD as she feels her husband may have ADHD:
My grandson was diagnosed with ADHD last year and is now on Ritalin. It has been amazing the difference this medication makes. Although there has been a lot of criticism of this drug, and my son and daughter-in-law were very hesitant to put him on it, we all see how well it works for him. But my question is, can a person continue to have the ADHD disorder into adulthood? The reason I ask is that my husband exhibits all the same symptoms as my grandson when not on Ritalin: He is inappropriately aggressive (socially, physically and sexually) toward others; seems driven to "tease" to the point of meanness; strives to be the center of attention at all times and at all costs (even if it means behaving obnoxiously and offending others); is extremely restless and impatient, unable to focus his attention on anything for very long, or finish tasks he has begun; and lies incessantly, quickly making up new lies to cover old lies, in an endless stream of untruths.
From what he has told me about his childhood, I'm certain he had ADHD then, but I think he still does. Is this possible? And if so, is there treatment for adults with this disorder? Where can I turn for help with this sensitive issue? (He gets very defensive if I even mention that he may have a problem.) I would appreciate it more than you know if you could provide me with some answers and direction! Thank you so much in advance,
Lana
Read the responses from other visitors:
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I am an adult struggling with a new diagnosis of ADHD. My son was diagnosed over a year ago at the age of 6. I did not believe the condition even existed at the time. In taking family history, the doctor seemed convinced that I might be struggling with the same issues, because I kept saying "but Ben is just fine, he's just like I was as a child!" I did get a professional evaluation, and at this time am struggling to find a treatment routine that will give me some relief. I struggled with a number of the same issues you describe. I have since don tons of research, and am amazed at how all the facets of my life are affected by this. I however, would never have believed this 18 months ago. Coming to terms with any part of your life that is not 'normal' can be very difficult, especially with ADD, where you feel that you struggle every day just to appear 'normal' on the outside. Realizing that other people see the mistakes you make is EXTREMELY painful to the person with ADD, because YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT, FEEL OUT OF CONTROL, AND HAVE NO CLUE THAT THERE IS SUCH THING AS ADD!!!
Practice lots of forgiveness, and realize that his actions more than likely ARE NOT MEANT TO HURT YOU!
However, in this case, it does not appear that you do not have the control. As with any disorder, whether it be depression, alcoholism, ADD, diabetes... you cannot force help upon a person. You can try getting him to agree to read some info to decide whether to pursue things further, but let me tell you... If he does have ADD, he has had a lifetime of people telling him that he is 'screwed up', and even the hint of this from a loved one can put us on the defensive, impulsively lashing out. Proceed with loving care - maybe you could convince him to take some of the online tests, or even chat with his doctor??
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A person can have ADHD into adulthood. I have a 24 year old son who is ADHD. My husband also (though he would never admit it.) is ADHD, undiagnosed. As for treatment, he would have to want to get treatment, after all he is an adult and we cant force other adults to do what they don't want to do. But I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. There are medications that can help and behavioral therapies that can also help somewhat. Hope this helps. Good luck to you.
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I can completely sympathize with your situation. ADHD doesn't
usually go away when a child gets older. Thus, you have an adult with it.
My husband is also ADHD and wasn't diagnosed until our 4 1/2-year-old son was.
My husband was on Wellbutrin and WOW, what a difference. His behavior and
personality were completely different. No more "temper tantrums"
because he couldn't fix the car, etc. The little things didn't set him off
like they did before. It was like his real personality got a chance to
shine through. Your husband sounds like he definitely is ADHD. Then
again, it could be something else. Would he go talk to a therapist?
Would he be willing to get on medication? Personally, I don't think anyone
deserves to be in such a volatile house. Your husband is your son's role
model. Even if your son is getting help for the ADHD, if your husband
doesn't then your son will probably be just like his father. My son and
husband "played" off of each other. It was like watching to boys
and I was the mother! Drove me nuts! :)
I hope I've helped some. Try and talk him into seeing a therapist.
That's my best advice.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love,
Shannon
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