ADDHelpline is your ADD Information Source
If you are interested in learning more about how you can receive EEG Neurotherapy right in your home, using your own computer, enter your email address below.
Regular Features
THE
PARENT COACH
Dr.
Steven Richfield provides articles on many different aspects of raising a child
with ADHD.
ASK
THE ADVOCATE
Each
month we our advocate will be answering questions from our visitors about yours
and your children's rights in the educational system.
PARENTS
TALK
A mother is trying to help her teenage son learn anger management.
MOTIVATION
TIPS
Five great ideas for motivation, including The Shoe Race, Trading Places
and more.
ORGANIZATION
TIPS
Organize your child at home, and maybe find some tips that will help you
as well.
ADHD
IN THE NEWS
Headlines about ADHD, Learning Disability and Mental Disorders
Study on ADD and TV
The recent study published on watching television between the ages of one and
three and the possible link to ADD/ADHD did not take many considerations into
account. The author of the study even admits that he cannot conclude that
television watching and ADD/ADHD are linked.
Read the
Article
Empowering Kids to Deal with Bullies and Low
Self-esteem
By Kathy Noll
Author - "Taking the Bully by the Horns"
Did you know that 23% of 9th graders have carried a weapon to school recently?
According to the US Justice Department, one out of three kids will be offered or
sold drugs at school while one out of four kids is bullied either mentally or
physically every day. Do we really know what happens to our kids when they leave
the safety of our homes to go to school?
Unfortunately, bullying and child violence have become quite common themes in
every school across the country, and outside the US as well.
Dr. Jay Carter and myself have written a book, and run a web site, that helps
parents, teachers, and kids learn the skills they need to deal with bullies and
low self-esteem. On this journey, we've encountered many sad stories that are
all too real.
One that really stands out in my mind, and heart, is in the form of a letter
written by a woman in IL. She starts out by thanking me for writing my book and
wishing she would've had it for her son, Ricky, 5 years earlier.
Ricky was tormented every day at school by his "bullies." He was an
asthmatic, and continually his classmates would take his inhaler medication from
him to spray on themselves, in the air - essentially wasting it. This went on
until one cold day in December, 1994, that has left his mother devastated. Ricky
was found dead at school. He died of an asthma attack. His inhaler, found empty.
This is only one of many depressing stories. We've all had bad experiences to
some degree that seem to be too close to home. But what can we do?
One of the things that Dr. Carter and myself did to bring awareness was in
collaboration with NBC10 News out of Philadelphia. At a local middle school, we
hid 5 cameras in a classroom of 8th graders. Only one child, Jonathan, was in on
our "sting" operation. He played the role of a bully while wearing a
wire microphone. We then hid in a nearby classroom and monitored his classmates
reactions as he proceeded to harass them. He harassed them with the arrogance
that only a bully knows. We had him making fun of people, pushing and shoving,
and giving off a real "I'm the only all important one" attitude!
The reactions varied as you can imagine. They were about as different as every
child's personality. Some moved out of his way, timid and frightened, while
others stood up for themselves screaming, "Get some manners!" One girl
smacked him in the forehead! But we were also touched by the concern of many.
We listened as they approached the teacher and expressed concern for Jonathan's
behavior. They felt he must really be hurting inside to be taking out so much
frustration on them.
Bullies really do have low self-esteem. If there is something about themselves
they don't like, they feel that by putting you down, and teasing you, they are
distracting from their own problems. Bullies are also angry.. Most likely they
were also bullied at some point. We call this the "Bully Cycle." Also
in question would be the negative influence of peers, caretakers who may have
abused or enabled them, and exposure to violence in the media.
What can the victim do about his/her bully? Try confronting them and telling
them how they are making you feel. "What did I do to you?" In many
situations ignoring has the best results. If the bully no longer gets a reaction
out of you, he/she will usually move on. It is no longer any fun.. But what
about the bully who is very abusive or violent? Make sure the school knows what
is going on, and if they are unwilling to get involved, you need to contact the
bully's parents. This type of bully should be avoided at all costs. Traveling to
school in a group, and staying away from empty buildings are other wise options.
I'm sure you'll all agree that both the victims and bullies need help and
support. Teach them that their actions have consequences. Instill in them the
Rules for Fighting Fair: Identify the problem. Focus on the problem. Attack the
problem, not the person. Listen with an open mind. Treat a person's feelings
with respect. And finally - Take responsibility for your actions.
Let's all do our part to help prevent the children of our future from becoming
"statistics."
If you are interested in seeing the segment we filmed for the 6 o'clock news at
NBC10 in Philadelphia, please contact your local NBC stations and ask them to
carry the piece on bullies that appeared Feb. 15, 2000.If you'd like to learn
more about bully and self-esteem issues, please visit our web site at:
http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll
E-mail: kthynoll@aol.com
Or send comments, suggestions, book orders
($11.95 each includes S/H) to:
Kathy Noll, 3300 Chestnut St., Reading, PA 19605