My Experience With The School System


By
Ginger Jinnette


I am from Greensboro, NC and we are having a hard time getting my 11 year old son's school to comply with the IEP. I was amazed to learn of all of the rights that I have because my son has a learning disability and also even more amazed to learn that even though these rights are backed by Federal Law, we don't always get them without a fight. I enlisted the help of an advocate in Greensboro that also raised a child with learning disabilities. This lady knows the laws and will go to IEP
meetings and stand up for my child just as if it were her own. My son has an IQ of 117 and is making D's and F's in the fifth grade and he is still not getting the help he needs. After this last IEP meeting I think we finally have the attention of the school and the Executive Director of Exceptional Children. Yes, she does charge a fee, but it is minimal and is on a sliding scale based on your income. Compared to what an attorney would charge and the time that would be involved in taking this to that degree she is well worth her fees. She did not originally charge a fee, but things have grown so much over the years and she is  controlled by a Board of Directors that said she would have to charge
something. I told her I would rather spend my energies on getting the help my child needs than taking this to court and going through a lengthy court battle. I encourage all parents that are experiencing this type of problem with a school to see if they have someone in their area to help them. I have spent many nights crying out of frustration and not knowing what to do. This lady is a God send to me


She has given me some very good ideas as to how to handle problems with my son. She is very respected in this area and when I go to an IEP meeting with this lady people know I am serious and we get their attention. She suggests that my son and I have a contract that spells out what is expected of him and reward him with checks each time he accomplishes one of these chores or whatever we want on the contract. At the end of every week he will have to have earned so many stars to turn them in for something special that he wants or something that he wants
to do. This teaches him how to be responsible and I don't have to
constantly remind him to do things that he should be doing.


Her theory is that when we punish these children by taking things away or grounding them they learn that they don't like the punishment and not how to change what they are doing. I had told my son many times that if I found homework or something important that was not done and he had  already gone to bed, I would get him up and make him complete it. I was  so frustrated one night that I finally did carry through on my threat. She told me what this taught him was that there were consequences to his actions and he learned more from that than if I had taken something from him. He also had a sense of accomplishment having completed his homework. He now knows that I will get him up and he will still have to get up the next morning as usual. I feel that we do have to help ADHD children more than other children, but if we don't at some point make them accountable for
what they do and don't do, they will never learn how to cope with this disease. If my son is going to have to deal with this for the rest of his life then it is my job to help him learn how to deal with everyday life and not do it for him or remind him all the time. I may not always be there and he will be lost if he does not learn how to do for himself. I can't change the fact that he has ADHD, but I can teach him how to deal with it.


This lady is also teaching me how to be a good advocate for my child and how to deal with ADHD in my child. This is my second child and my first child was Academically Gifted and excelled in school, so I am at the other end of the scale and really getting a dose of reality and having to do things very different now. I cannot use what I learned with my first child with this child.


I would also suggest that if other parents of ADHD children has an athlete like I do, let them continue in sports and excel in something. They really do need to feel good about themselves in something that they do. You will have to set limitations on the sports and monitor their work more closely, but they can gain a lot of confidence in themselves by getting to do something they enjoy.


Just thought I would pass on my experience and I hope that other parents can find similar help.