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12 Things Teens With ADD
Want Teachers To Know
12 Things High School Students With ADD/ADHD Would Like Their Teachers To Know
Suggestions for IEPs
Questions to ask yourself to start the process of forming a successful IEP for
your child.
PARENT TO PARENT
CAN YOU HELP??
I am a 29 year old
mother of 3 children...One month ago, I also was diagnosed with ADD...I did
horrible in school, quit, and cannot keep my house up. People say, well
you have 3 children, but I cannot do it. Can you give me any organization
tips? I already ordered products from "GET ORGANIZED NOW".
i hope it will help. I have never been able to keep our checkbook, I took
accounting in college-I know how to, but can not finish. PLEASE HELP ME.
THANKS,
MARY
Last month: A mother asks for advice on educating her child's teachers.
Back To Parenting Articles Index
The Parent Coach: Helping The Impulsive
Child
Dr. Steven Richfield
www.parentcoachcards.com
Additional information on Dr. Richfield
A parent writes, “I’m becoming increasingly worried about our twelve year
old son’s problems with impulsivity. I don’t think he would ever hurt anyone
on purpose but he’s very big and strong for his age, and he has ADHD. He
can sound, and even act, very threatening at times. What should I do about
it?”
Childhood impulsivity appears in decisions, actions, and statements.
It can be compared to a chemical accelerant that speeds up reactions to
events. It is stored up and lives in a dormant form until something in the
outside environment strikes. This can be thought as the precipitant or trigger.
Once the precipitant arrives on the scene, there may be breakthrough in the form
of aggressive actions, such as throwing a shoe, or hostile comments, such as
belittling a family member. In the midst of such a breakthrough there is
little room for the voice of reason to be heard.
Impulsivity narrows a child’s perceptions, making it
difficult for them to see the “big picture.” It acts as a blindfold
with a tiny hole in it. So much is blocked out except for the small
space afforded by the hole. One can think of that small space as the strong
feelings that block out
everything else. When I explain this concept to kids, I ask them to remember a
time when they felt so angry that they “couldn’t see” how their behavior
was going to lead to consequences. I also emphasize the triggers and causes to
such “blindfold behaviors,” such as a critical teacher, refusal of their
request by a parent, or the annoyance of a younger sibling. In these cases,
wounded pride and difficulty tolerating frustration are the causes. This is an
important distinction because kids would rather see the trigger as the cause,
and therefore, blame the teacher, parent, or sibling, i.e. “It’s the
teacher’s fault. If she didn’t say that about my report, I wouldn’t have
told her to shut up.”
Consider these coaching tips when approaching a child with
impulsivity problems:
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Avoid placing yourself in a power struggle with an impulsive child. Remember that impulsivity is like energy waiting for a catalyst (kind of like a landmine)- don’t make yourself the catalyst! Approach in a nonpunitive, nonthreatening, and nonadversarial manner. Try not to get into an “either/or” situation where you issue a request and immediately follow it up with the threat of a consequence. Don’t get lulled into the belief that the harsher you sound the more they will comply; often times, it’s just the opposite. Parents get stuck defending angry and arbitrary positions, such as “You either sit down and listen to me or you’re grounded for the week.!” |
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Dr. Steven Richfield is a child psychologist in Plymouth
Meeting. His column appears monthly. He can be contacted at www.parentcoachcards.com
or 610-275-0178
ADDHelpline,
Inc. is an online resource center and support group for all
individuals dealing with ADD/ADHD.